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A Brook in Winter... Easton, ME
Not esteeming yourself special,
why worry about others esteeming you
not-special?
Ch'ien Wu (Qian Wu) asked Sunshu Ao, "Three times you served as senior magistrate and did not luxuriate in splendor. Three times you were dismissed and did not look depressed. First, I doubted that this was for real, but now I see your breath is calm and subtle. Do you have some special method of controlling your mind?"
"How would I be special beyond other people? All I do is understand that when a position comes to me, I can't prevent it; when it goes away, I can't stop it. Thinking of all gain and loss as impersonal events, I have no cause for depression. That is all. So how am I special beyond others?
"Also, I have no clue whether the honor resides in the position or in myself. If it is in the position, I have nothing to do with it; if it is in myself, the position is irrelevant.
"And now, my friend, I am going to take a leisurely walk, looking round in all directions. I really have no time to worry whether people honor or despise me."
*Chuang Tzu. The Tao of Perfect Happiness—Selections Annotated & Explained . Trans. and Ed. Levia Kohn.
* * *
The Taoist Chuang Tzu tells of Sunshu Ao's leisurely manner. His body is relaxed, his breathing subtle and calm. He does not see himself as special; he accepts what life brings his way - fortune or misfortune. He ambles about unhurried, appreciating nature, noticing it as he walks. Why? He is impartial as to how others regard him. For Sunshu Ao, to worry about whether others honor or dishonor one is a waste of precious time. He prefers enjoying life and living at-peace within. His calm breathing reflects this posture of detachment.
* * *
Years ago, when still a pastor, a member of a church I served arrived in her vehicle at my home. She was part of a group trying to run me out of the small town. She, representing an ultra-conservative cliche, went through the town and door-to-door asking persons - even persons who did not know me - to sign a petition for me to leave town. After getting out of her car, she walked up, handed me the petition, informing me what it was. I took it in hand, turned and began walking away. I was interested in knowing its content. Yet, I sensed an inner voice telling me not to look at it. I ambled over to a trash container. I threw the petition in and strode away in the woman's view. Afterward, I never felt a need to give any thought to the petition and who did or did not sign it. I acted as though it never had happened.
* * *
Why drink the "poison" someone offers you to drink, simply for she dislikes you or disagrees with you? It makes no sense to. And to do so is to yield to the other in a way that helps neither you nor her.
Sometimes not to care is the way of loving someone, including someone who chooses to behave as your enemy. A blunt nonreply is what others need at times, rather than a reply.
* * *
That you breathe, walk, and live calmly, free of needless anxiety about what anyone thinks or says of you is wise - and healthy. If one speaks of you as dishonorable, be thankful. If one speaks of you as honorable, be grateful. Live gratefully.
The wise find themselves honorable, not needing to receive it from what anyone thinks or says about them. Gain or loss cannot touch your self-worth.
In this equanimity, you live at peace with yourself, and you live at peace with others - even if they choose not to live at peace with you. You feel the quiet joy of aliveness, and your breathing witnesses to the contentment you enjoy, day and night, when awake or asleep.
* * *
*(C) Brian K. Wilcox, 2020
*Brian's book, An Ache for Union: Poems on Oneness with God through Love, can be ordered through major online booksellers or the publisher AuthorHouse. The book is a collection of poems based on mystical traditions, especially Christian and Sufi, with extensive notes on the teachings and imagery in the poetry.
*To contact Brian, write to LotusoftheHeart@gmx.com .
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